It’s a funny thing to think that this woman, whom I’ve never met, is actually my mother.

But I’d love to meet her… and I’d like to have your help.  More info after the jump.

You see, I’m adopted.

Twice, actually (if you want to get all technical on me), but I’ll get to that later.

The first time was when I was but 11 months old. My mother had made some poor decisions at a very young age with another very young man.

There was little choice, she had to give us up for adoption.

(The above 2 lines were actually re-written… I realized that what I had wrote was extremely sensitive and emotional subject… and that I still have a lot of issues that are unresolved.  Prayer, perhaps, is the only remedy.)

Apparently she also remarried and had 2 other sons (2 half-brothers…!!! Can you imagine waking up and one day being told you have two more brothers…?)  Even though I do not know their names, I do know mine.

I carry, to this day, my original Korean last name “Lee” as my middle name: John Lee Saddington.  It was (or still is…?) Lee Joon Han.

But I’m not thankful just for the name (it’s a great one too, mind you) but I’m also thankful for her ability to make a choice that is, for all intents and purposes, one step down in difficulty from sending one’s own Son to die for filthy and undeserving people.

She gave me a shot at Adoption #2, or my Second Adoption, an opportunity to have a relationship with Jesus Christ and be adopted as a son of God.

Lee Sung Han and I were given new names and new parents.  Two loving parents that gave us everything.  They raised us “right” and helped us grow.

Our new parents watched us take our first steps.  They watched us as we went off to school for the first time.  They watched and nurtured and loved us through our many (and I say many) bad choices.  They took us to countless sporting events and watched us become world-class athletes.  They gave guidance and counsel when we we’re choosing our college majors and saw one become a computer 3l1te hax0r (programmer, for you non-techies) and the other a business process nut job that made far too much money too fast.  They saw us through all of our failed relationships and mentored us on the ones that worked.  They watched us both come to the saving faith of Jesus Christ (all those sunday school classes that they “forced” us to, at times, paid off!). They stood before an Almighty God when one of them left them to be joined to another in Marriage.  They were there during the dedication ceremony of their first grand daughter. They were there there to see both find value and joy in taking their faith journey’s farther, and seeing them graduate seminary (one with 3 degrees and one still struggling)! They were there when one left an insanely lucrative fortune 50 job as an executive for full time ministry. And they will be there when the other (finally) gets married next year.

All of these things, crucial and poignant moments of time for myself and my brother, were witnessed and shared with our new parents.

But our first ones, our biological, never heard a single word.

That is, until, Peter began the “hunt” nearly 8 years ago.  Through various un-ending paperwork, trial and error, a butt load of prayer and a touch of luck he had managed to find her, and through a translator was able to communicate to her life-saving words of redemption.

He told her that we forgave her.  He told her that we loved her.

And to think that the very people that she threw away would be the ones that love her the most.  It’s Holy Spirit-driven, a God-initiated movement, and a Savior’s enabled possibility.

But for all the communique that occured, and all the communication back and forth, it still lacks one thing, the opportunity to give her a big whopping hug.

But God provides, right?

Through no action on my part (and I wasn’t even aware this program existed!) I’ve been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have a “all expenses paid” trip back to Korea to visit her.  The OKF (Overseas Koreans Foundation) with G.O.A.L. (Global Oversees Adoptees’ Link) has chosen my brother and I to be a part of a group that will have the chance to meet their birth mothers.  44 fellow adoptees will join us on this trek around the globe, affectionately called “The First Trip Home”.

Not only have they offered to finance the large portion of the traveling and hotel stay, they have been able to “open” all the adoption case files for those chosen participants.  This is often extremely difficult.

But not every expense is covered.

And that’s where I’m humbly asking for your help, in two ways:

Prayer

This may quite possibly be the most emotional experience of my life, save my extremely emotional marriage ceremony and salvation episode.

I’d love you to become a prayer partner with me and my brother as we prepare to travel and meet my mother, and especially for the big day.  Pray for safe travels, and that fear and anxiety would not beat us down.

Financial Support

I’m in need of approximately $500 to $800 dollars to cover additional expenses for the trip.  This is almost nothing compared to when I had to raise $20,000+ for a Campus Crusade mission to Bosnia back in ‘03… but I also had months and months to raise it.

I’ve got only 17 days.

Flight’s out on the 5th of December and I’ll be there for a week, flying back on the 14th of December.

Call me crazy, but in Faith, we’ve already said that we’d go and my amazingly graceful team @ North Point Ministries has given me the green light to go, even despite the crazy number of project launches coming up (HEART me some NPM!).

And, if I raise more than the required amount listed above, the excess will be donated to a family who’s trying to pay for adoption (adoptions these days can cost close to $20,000 dollars).

So, please, prayerfully consider it and check out the donation widget on the right sidebar.

And feel free to blog about it, tweet it up, pass it along… This could be epic.

Oh, and don’t worry, I’ll be blogging and (hopefully) vlogging the entire trip.  Stay tuned.

Human3rror Goes to Korea - Needs Your Help! from John on Vimeo.

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Image courtesy of the man himself, Sullied.org.

I had a healthy reality check yesterday when I casually tweeted yesterday how someone (not just anyone though… THE Esther Havens…!) had found a blurb about Gospelr.com in the newest mag-release by Collide Magazine.

And the Sully Michael answered the call.  More thoughts after the break.

But, what was so neat was that I didn’t ask specifically for anything: It was a casual rambling thought about how I never was actually pinged for an interview by Collide and how I was never actually notified about the print.

I was more intrigued than upset.

But what Sully did was go above and beyond and the guy freaking typed out the whole article for me, emailed it to me, and then offered to ship his own copy of Collide to me at no charge.

I mean… who does that?

Which got me to thinking… when was the last time that I actually used Twitter to help someone else out?

If you look at the last couple (more than a couple, perhaps) of my tweets, it’s your normal run-of-the-mill ego-tweets and updates about my rather mundane existence as I try to save the world from IT and web disaster.

…

So, I challenge all of you to ask the hard question… is Twitter more than just a rampant ego-fest?  Or are you using it as a medium to reach, respond and resuscitate relationships?

I’ve since sent Collide Magazine a request for a physical copy to save Sully some gas money… we’ll see if they get back to me.

But, if not, I know that Sully’s offer still stands… and that rocks.

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I do call my mother “mammy”.

I can’t remember when and how it all got started, but it’s one of those “affectionate” terms.

I do love my mammy, alot.

But, last night I came close to getting very very upset with my mammy.

My wife was sitting next to me as we were both tap-tap-tapping away at our respective keyboards and suddenly…

SILENCE…

… “John…?”

“Yes?” I mutter.

“Did you know that your mom was on Facebook?  She friended me…”

SILENCE…

“NO!?!?!?  OMG she didn’t tell me… wah…! I didn’t get an friend-request…!!!111111″ I yelled as I strained my neck over to see her screen.

And yes, she had created a Facebook account without making her son a friend.  I was heartbroken.

So, what else was I supposed to do?  I GooChatted her up and the image on the left is what transpired.

I sent her a friend request… but she hasn’t accepted.

DOH!

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I have a problem: I’m asian.

But you see, that shouldn’t be a problem.  But it apparently is.  And it makes me very, very sad.

And… angry… … just kidding.  A “story” after the jump.

My family just moved into a new neighborhood and we’re going through the typical “meet your neighbors” stuff.  One of the coolest things is that we were actually prayerful (this time) about where we wanted to live and part of the location was so that we could be as missional as possible with our neighbors.

Sure, we wanted some good amenities, a good price, etc, but those were not actually at the top of the list.  We wanted to be impactful, and we want to share the Good News of Jesus Christ.

So, we chose a place 3 miles away from where I worked so that invitations to goto our Church wouldn’t cost an arm-and-a-leg in gas.

We’ve found that this particular community is what I would consider a “I am about to head to the geriatric-ward for management and support” community (gosh, that sounds mean, but it’s true).  Most of our neighbors are the elderly because this neighborhood has been around for a long time.

So………  Enter the-old-lady-who-drives-a-ford-taurus (tolwdaft for short).

I was walking to get my mail yesterday when I spotted her.  She had just gotten out of her car to get her mail.  Then, she saw me.  Visibly frozen for a second, I could see the mental cogs begin to turn as she began to calculate if she could get to the box, open it, grab the contents, and then run back before this ninja thug would loot her for all she’s got and her puppy in the back seat.

She made the call and dashed as only a true tolwdaft could.

I slowed down a bit but called out: “Hello!”

No response.  I tried again: “Hi!”

Nothing but a cold shoulder and apparently a renewed fervor to get her mail and bolt.

I thought I’d throw her a question (because I did actually have one): “Excuse me Miss? I have a quick question…?”

She, at this time, had managed to get one foot back into the car, peered over her shoulder with a look of paralyzed fear.  She, obviously out of breath, managed to snort: “I don’t have time, have to go, don’t have time.”

I asked anyway: “Excuse me, has the zipcode here in Alpharetta always been 30004?  or 30009?”

tolwdaft said: “Always 4″ and with that she hopped in her ford and drove like a bat out of h-e-double-hockeystick.

“WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?!?” was all that I could muster.

And then it dawned on me.  Perhaps I’ve just been a victim of the asian/ninja stereotype.  I say “perhaps,” because it’s quite possible that I’m dead wrong and that I’m being oversensitive…

But that’s what happened.  Lesson learned.  But what to do now?  How shall I overcome this “potential” stereotype as being a scary asian man when I come in peace to deliver the best news on the planet?

Prayer is probably the best place to start (and some good old strategeryyyyy).

So, if you could pray for tolwdaft and that we can engage her wisely (for she is our neighbor) that would be great.

Have you ever been profiled, or something similar happen to you?  What did you do?

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Billy Graham is 90 years old today and his touch upon the evangelical landscape of this past century is so immense that it will far out last his physical presence upon this earth.

In addition, one of the other profound things that he has helped transform is the use of technology for preaching of the Gospel:

From the start of the association that bears his name, Graham harnessed the media to spread his message of evangelism around the world.

But he knows technology’s true place: it is fully under subjection to the Holy Spirit.  And we can’t ever forget that.  More thoughts after the break.

John Piper has an amazing summary review of Graham’s life, which I highly encourage you all to read.  It was this portion of Piper’s entry that really jolted me awake (much more than an overly-sugarized-cup-of-coffee)…

For all the technology he employed, he relied profoundly on the Holy Spirit in the work of evangelism:

He told students in 1964 at Harvard Divinity School… “I used to think that in evangelism I had to do it all, but now I approach evangelism with a totally different attitude. I approach it with complete relaxation. First of all, I don’t believe that any man can come to Christ unless the Holy Spirit has prepared his heart.

Secondly, I don’t believe any man can come to Christ unless God drives him. My job is to proclaim the message. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to do the work, period.” (Catherwood, 230)

I loved this reminder and I think it’s well worth meditating as we seek to use the online space to carry even further the saving message of Jesus Christ.

You see, “technology proper” (like that of “theology proper” perhaps), is seen correctly as just another “clay pot” and vessel to be used by the Holy Spirit (Isaiah 29:16).  Just because we have made and created the internets doesn’t mean we can forget that God created us.

So this morning, I kindly reminded that in regards to using this blog and the many other places that I share my faith, I can do it courageously (and in completely relaxation), knowing that the Holy Spirit is preparing the hearts of those that are reading it and that my job is not to convert but to proclaim.  As Billy said:

It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to do the work, period.

Amen. Period.

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Last night, dearest daughter, while you slept in blissful ignorance, something amazing happened; something that has never happened before in the history of the world. Something that you will read about, many years from now, in those far-too-expensive High School U.S. History textbooks: An African-American is the President of the United States.

This “letter” (also known as a blog post… do they still have “blogs”?) is being written to capture a few passing thoughts of mine as history has (and is) being made.

Last night, your mom and I sat and watched it unfold:  We watched as Senator McCain gave his concession speech, and as he had appropriately stated:

“We have come to an end of a long journey. The American people have spoken, and they have spoken clearly,” McCain said.

We also watched in awe as Barack Obama gave his victory speech.  And Oh, was it a speech.  It was a rallying cry that tugged on the heartstrings of many as we watched, on your uncle’s 58″ plasma tv, tears of joy streaming down supporter’s faces.

And your father wept too that night, but not amongst the thousands that thronged to Chicago to hear him, but alone, in his prayer closet (Matthew 6:6), as He begged Christ to be the center and absolute king of not only his own heart, but of the millions of other disciples of Jesus that make up the Church.

You see, my daughter, this election showed your appa something that frightened him (yes, your appa does get scared sometimes).  This election displayed a level of vitriolic and acerbic behavior amongst the Church the likes of which he had never ever seen.

So disheartening were some of the conversations, so depressing were the obvious divisions, and so appalling were the discourses, that I was genuinely frightened of having to engage in the political discussion.

And, at times, I hated the election.

But “hate” is the last thing that I, or anyone, should meditate on.  So here are four things that I want you to remember when you get old enough to vote:

God is still God and our God is Good.

Although I can already hear your voice saying “Apppppppppppaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…! I know that already!” I want you never forget it, so it is worth repeating.  Nothing can change this fact, and let my life be a testimony that our God is still very, very good.  God is watching over us, our country, and this president and wants the very best for His children.  I hope you can learn this more and more as you grow.

God is Mystery and that’s a Good Thing.

One of the biggest lessons that I’ve ever learned from Seminary is that one should never forget that our God is a God of Mystery.  Yes, Roenne, He’s made Himself known to us through the Scriptures and through His Son Jesus, but there is so much more to Him that we can ever know.  And this is important.  His ways are beyond our ways, He makes nations rise and nations fall because He Wills it.  We cannot possibly understand the “why”… but we must continue to trust in Him at all times (that’s “faith” by the way…).

In addition, it’s a good thing.  It keeps us straight, on the right path, keeping our eyes on Him.  We will never really know why the election panned out the way it did, but He has put who He has desired to be the next president of our nation.  Many will not agree and many more will not understand, and that’s fine.  Our God is a God of Mystery.  It also helps to keep us praying.

The Enemy will do Anything to Divide.

Let me be quick on this point… my daughter, if you haven’t begun to already learn this, the deceiver will do anything to divide and focus our attention elsewhere.

Do not be fooled.

He is a liar, and will use emotion to cloud your judgment.  It is during these moments that you must reach for one of the many bibles that we’ve given you and read the scriptures like your life depended on it.

God Loves the Church (A Lot) and so Should We.

Regardless of how foolish we can be, and how unfaithful, unwise, and absolutely sinful in regards to our treatment of others within the Body of Christ, Christ still loves the Church and will do anything (except sin!) to make his bride the most beautiful thing ever.

And we should do the same.  Love the Church, for it is the true Hope of this world.  There will be disagreements, there will be supposed divisions, but there is only ONE Church.  Love it, serve it, die for it, and seek unity in all things.  Christ did it, and so should we.

And so, Roenne, as you are waking up, the world isn’t all that different than what it was the day before.  Things are still as broken as they were yesterday.  But what we have been giving is an opportunity to do what we’ve been called to do according to Scripture. To answer the “call”:

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves — if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

I hope that the choices I make today are ones that will impact your future, for the good.  I want to make changes that are impactful, effectual, and that change people’s lives.  That’s progress.

But don’t forget that one thing that will never change is that I’m your appa.

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Today is a historic day in our country’s life.  Yesterday, it was (possibly) an even more historic for me.

Yesterday I prayed passionately for our Presidential Candidates (Praying Backwards with Ragamuffin Soul) and then later on that night I prayed for our country.  This morning, first thing I did was I got on my knees and I prayed for this country again.

And that, my friends, is the “historic” part.

You see, I’ve never been a big “let’s pray for our country” type of guy.  For a long time I’ve thought that this country is pretty much going down the poophole and praying would, if anything, simply delay the inevitable.  (This is terrible thinking and so I repent of that nonsense…)

I’ve prayed for candidates and tossed a prayer-bomb here and there, but I was never this concerned enough to get on my knees.

But I am this time.

Not concerned that the US is breaching armageddon but rather that the capital C Church is divided and that the witness of thousands have been blown because of misplaced and misguided passions.  I think it was seeing it all come together (Thanks Tony!) last night and seeing hundreds of my fellow believers pray for each other and the candidates that they didn’t support which brought me to a place of quiet humility.

And it was amazing because I had the opportunity to lead prayer with family, my wife, sue. (You can actually view our time of leading prayer via chat in Tony’s first part of this video… it was awesome!)

Chat Prayers during Pray Backwards ‘08 from Tony Steward on Vimeo.

It’s actually been family where the battlefield of politics have raged.  While my bud Carlos was seeing a “division unlike he’s ever seen before”, I saw something else transpire: Close family ties being stretched, challenged, and ripped apart because of political differences and persuasions.  I’ve never gotten into such heated debates with family and forced to “do my research”, “justify myself and my position”, and feel emotions of political-insecurity.

But at the very last moment, it was with family, with my wife, where we could just sit at the feet of Christ and pray it up like nothing we’ve ever done before.

And not a moment too late.

So, this morning, when I woke up, headed down to Buckhead Church, grabbed a free cup of coffee from Starbucks and sat down to type, I looked out the window and imagined and saw a country not of citizens-divided, but rather an opportunity for unity.

Here’s hoping… and I’m still praying.

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Beamagpie.com just hit the maps as the new service where you can not only make a couple bucks per month via your Twitter account but is also the fastest way to get Qwitter-spam like no tomorrow (or, perhaps, like yesterday’s nightmarish experience of @loswhit “enemic-like” behavior… one person called it a genocide).

I mean, seriously, would YOU want to get random advertisments via my twitter account on occasion?

I mean, I could use the extra money… a ministry-salary can be somewhat “slim”…  but at what “cost”?

Unfortunately (or fortunately) I wouldn’t make much money anyways because my twitter-evaluation was less than a Happy Meal at MickeyD’s…

But, Ragamuffin could be making somewhat south of a Benjamin!  Check it:

Anyways, do as you please.  If I do see an advertisement, expect the email.  Expect it.

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I’m a speed-junkie.

I find this post so appropriate too because I watched “Top Gun” this afternoon as I rested from my mid-term-25-paper-nightmare.

I feel the need for speed.

I was the guy who bought the brand new computer and instantly reformatted, custom-partitioned, and hacked my registry for maximum speed (wait… I still do this…).  If my computer could go faster, I would make sure it would.

The same goes for WordPress.  So here are three of my favorite WordPress speed “hacks” that are SUPER easy to implement and so effective that if you aren’t using them (or decide not to use them) I will call you a n00b.

And, if you aren’t using WordPress, you are a n00b by default.  Just kidding…  Hacks after the jump.

First, these aren’t really hacks, but for all intents and purposes this might be the first time you’ve actually edited any code that wasn’t a part of your plugins or themes, so we’ll call it a “hack” for fun.  That way you can feel cool.

Super Duper Speedy Object Cache Thingamajig

The first is a super simple addition to your wp-config.php file located on the root of your WordPress install.  All you have to do is add 1 line of code to enable WordPress’ built-in Object Cache.

What does it do?  It’ll make WP cache all types and kinds of database queries as files on the server’s hard drive.  Essentially, this is something like asking the server to microwave that delicious hot-pocket instead of asking the server to make the hot-pocket from scratch with homemade ingredients.  … Don’t get it?  Your making the server do less work.

So, copy the following code into your wp-config.php file and voila, instant speed upgrade!

// Enable the WordPress Object Cache:
define(ENABLE_CACHE, true);

Some have noted speed and performance increases that would make a grown man cry.

Super Duper Speedy WP Super Cache Plugin Thingamajiggy

This one is pretty much legendary.  It’s a “plugin” but it soooooooooo much more than just a “plugin”.  The WP Super Cache Plugin makes your WordPress “Ford Focus” install into a “Lamborgini Murcielago” install.

The results and it’s kick-buttness have been well documented so I won’t spend any more time giving it praise, but there are a few issues that you may encounter before and/or during the installation process.

You might have to do the following to get it to work, and WP Super Cache will actually document these changes that you’ll have to make so you can get it to work optimally:

1. You may have to add additional lines to your wp-config.php file (but you’re already a pro if you did the first hack).
2. You may have to chmod your root directory and/or the wp-content folder to 777 while you install and setup the plugin.  This is pretty easy and any GUI-based FTP program (or internet browser-based GUI) should give you the ability to do this.
3. You may have to create and/or move a file or two around in the directories (that’s easy).
4. You will probably have to enable some type of “permalink” setting, which is easy (goto your WordPress Settings >>> Permalinks >>> Choose Style).
5. You will want to check your .htaccess file on the root of your WordPress install after you enable addition mod_rewrite in the WP Super Cache settings.  The .htaccess file is already created if you have “permalinks” setup.  Checking it is easy as downloading the .htaccess file and opening it in a text-editor after you set it up in WP Super Cache.

And voila.  Pretty much teh uber.  A must plugin.  You owe it to your readers.

Super Duper Optimize Your Dbase Thingamajigjig

This one’s pretty simple but requires you to do a thing or two on your MySQL database.  It’s easy though, especially if you’re using PhpMyAdmin.  Just 3 clicks and you’re “optimized” for speed.

Get into your admin control panel for your database, click the right one, scroll all the way down and hit “check all” and then goto the right and use the drop down box to choose “optimize tables”.

That’s it!  Pretty sweet, huh.  Here’s a visual overview of the amazing 3-click-wonder.

So there you have it.

Three of my most favorite speed hacks for WordPress.  There are probably 10 others that I’ve done to increase speed, stability, and performance, but they require a little more “know how” and may result in you regretting your attempt…  but these three won’t.

Do it, and I promise that it’ll make you smile… and please let me know how it goes!  I like hearing good news.

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Image from danielgebhart and problogger

Wow, what a great article here by Problogger about feeling overwhelmed by one’s blog and the content that one is pressured to write, especially regarding social media and technology.

My thoughts after the jump.

It only took 3 months after my first began working at my first corporate job in technology and web development to realize that keeping up with technology was a full time job, in and of itself.

That was back in the summer of ‘98… a decade ago.  Although I understood this principle, I didn’t begin practically applying it until much much later.  Instead, I did all that I could to keep up.  I only realized that it was impossible to keep up a number of years back, and it was only recently that I’ve given up.

And that’s a good thing.

Because it helped create what I call The Three F’s:

The 1st “F” : Focus

I could now begin to concentrate on the things that I was passionate about.  Especially related to blogging, I could really dig down deep, write about the things that were the most interesting, and create better content overall.

This really, especially now, is the only way to fly.  With so many blogs out there creating content daily, there’s only one thing that makes your blog really unique and that’s YOU.  Focus on yourself, your interests, your passion, and who you are as a person.

Don’t fake it.  Don’t try to be anyone else, because that’s not interesting.  Be you.

Finally, with focusing you can provide yourself with a good and hearty schedule of publishing.  This is crucial.  Don’t blow that off.

The 2nd “F” : Fun

As a result of focusing, I could have more fun.  I didn’t have to beat myself up if I felt like I had to write on something but didn’t… or get depressed when I didn’t write about something that was “bleeding edge” technologically but that I, personally, wasn’t very interested in.  Again, I could write about what interested me.

As a direct result, burn out was avoided as well.  This is crucial in regards keeping consistent content flowing.  As I’ve mentioned to many people in my life in regards to their vocation: “If you’re not having fun, generally speaking, there is perhaps another occupation for you.”

So have fun with it.  Or don’t do it!

The 3rd “F” : Free Time

The more focus and the more fun I was having with blogging, the more free time was created.  This can seem fairly counter-intuitive but it really isn’t.  As I began blogging about things that really excited me and was having more fun doing it, the more productive I became, and the faster I would write, collect content, and produce content, saving me a lot more time.

Forcing paragraph after paragraph out of no interest was gone.  What happens is that I could actually put the computer down and relax.  This was extremely helpful for my family too.

And seriously, there’s more to life than just blogs… right?

Got any additional tips?

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