Help Me Meet My Mother
It’s a funny thing to think that this woman, whom I’ve never met, is actually my mother.
But I’d love to meet her… and I’d like to have your help. More info after the jump.
You see, I’m adopted.
Twice, actually (if you want to get all technical on me), but I’ll get to that later.
The first time was when I was but 11 months old. My mother had made some poor decisions at a very young age with another very young man.
There was little choice, she had to give us up for adoption.
(The above 2 lines were actually re-written… I realized that what I had wrote was extremely sensitive and emotional subject… and that I still have a lot of issues that are unresolved. Prayer, perhaps, is the only remedy.)
Apparently she also remarried and had 2 other sons (2 half-brothers…!!! Can you imagine waking up and one day being told you have two more brothers…?) Even though I do not know their names, I do know mine.
I carry, to this day, my original Korean last name “Lee” as my middle name: John Lee Saddington. It was (or still is…?) Lee Joon Han.
But I’m not thankful just for the name (it’s a great one too, mind you) but I’m also thankful for her ability to make a choice that is, for all intents and purposes, one step down in difficulty from sending one’s own Son to die for filthy and undeserving people.
She gave me a shot at Adoption #2, or my Second Adoption, an opportunity to have a relationship with Jesus Christ and be adopted as a son of God.
Lee Sung Han and I were given new names and new parents. Two loving parents that gave us everything. They raised us “right” and helped us grow.
Our new parents watched us take our first steps. They watched us as we went off to school for the first time. They watched and nurtured and loved us through our many (and I say many) bad choices. They took us to countless sporting events and watched us become world-class athletes. They gave guidance and counsel when we we’re choosing our college majors and saw one become a computer 3l1te hax0r (programmer, for you non-techies) and the other a business process nut job that made far too much money too fast. They saw us through all of our failed relationships and mentored us on the ones that worked. They watched us both come to the saving faith of Jesus Christ (all those sunday school classes that they “forced” us to, at times, paid off!). They stood before an Almighty God when one of them left them to be joined to another in Marriage. They were there during the dedication ceremony of their first grand daughter. They were there there to see both find value and joy in taking their faith journey’s farther, and seeing them graduate seminary (one with 3 degrees and one still struggling)! They were there when one left an insanely lucrative fortune 50 job as an executive for full time ministry. And they will be there when the other (finally) gets married next year.
All of these things, crucial and poignant moments of time for myself and my brother, were witnessed and shared with our new parents.
But our first ones, our biological, never heard a single word.
That is, until, Peter began the “hunt” nearly 8 years ago. Through various un-ending paperwork, trial and error, a butt load of prayer and a touch of luck he had managed to find her, and through a translator was able to communicate to her life-saving words of redemption.
He told her that we forgave her. He told her that we loved her.
And to think that the very people that she threw away would be the ones that love her the most. It’s Holy Spirit-driven, a God-initiated movement, and a Savior’s enabled possibility.
But for all the communique that occured, and all the communication back and forth, it still lacks one thing, the opportunity to give her a big whopping hug.
But God provides, right?
Through no action on my part (and I wasn’t even aware this program existed!) I’ve been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have a “all expenses paid” trip back to Korea to visit her. The OKF (Overseas Koreans Foundation) with G.O.A.L. (Global Oversees Adoptees’ Link) has chosen my brother and I to be a part of a group that will have the chance to meet their birth mothers. 44 fellow adoptees will join us on this trek around the globe, affectionately called “The First Trip Home”.
Not only have they offered to finance the large portion of the traveling and hotel stay, they have been able to “open” all the adoption case files for those chosen participants. This is often extremely difficult.
But not every expense is covered.
And that’s where I’m humbly asking for your help, in two ways:
Prayer
This may quite possibly be the most emotional experience of my life, save my extremely emotional marriage ceremony and salvation episode.
I’d love you to become a prayer partner with me and my brother as we prepare to travel and meet my mother, and especially for the big day. Pray for safe travels, and that fear and anxiety would not beat us down.
Financial Support
I’m in need of approximately $500 to $800 dollars to cover additional expenses for the trip. This is almost nothing compared to when I had to raise $20,000+ for a Campus Crusade mission to Bosnia back in ’03… but I also had months and months to raise it.
I’ve got only 17 days.
Flight’s out on the 5th of December and I’ll be there for a week, flying back on the 14th of December.
Call me crazy, but in Faith, we’ve already said that we’d go and my amazingly graceful team @ North Point Ministries has given me the green light to go, even despite the crazy number of project launches coming up (HEART me some NPM!).
And, if I raise more than the required amount listed above, the excess will be donated to a family who’s trying to pay for adoption (adoptions these days can cost close to $20,000 dollars).
So, please, prayerfully consider it and check out the donation widget on the right sidebar.
And feel free to blog about it, tweet it up, pass it along… This could be epic.
Oh, and don’t worry, I’ll be blogging and (hopefully) vlogging the entire trip. Stay tuned.
Human3rror Goes to Korea – Needs Your Help! from John on Vimeo.
Wow. What an incredible journey you are on. I am the mom of a little girl adopted from China, so I can relate to your story on many different levels. You (and your family at home too) will be in my prayers. I look forward to reading more posts about this journey.
Wow, what a journey.
Be praying for you all as well.
dude….that is an amazing story. thanks for sharing that with all of us and being so vulnerable…
Fantastic post John!! What an honor to be counted among your supporters. He sets the solitary in families – trough you, your mom's gonna inherit far more than she could ever dream. We are with you on your once-in-a-lifetime journey.
In our prayers and God Speed bro. I'll skip lunch and send it your way.
Blessings,
Dude, amazing story. Thanks for sharing. Will def be praying for you.
This is awesome! I have to admit, for the first time when trying to leave a comment on your blog, I am speechless.
I cannot imagine the feelings you are going through, but thanks for such an open and heart-felt letter to all of us. Keep us posted brother and I look forward to see what God has in store through this whole process.
Wow! Thanks for sharing from your heart. I'm excited to hear about this opportunity for you and your brother. I will definitely be praying…and spreading the word!
Behind You from the pocket and the prayers. This is a great post man.
Thank you for your post, and we will be praying for your family. Can't wait to read about the time spent with your mother.
I am always available for prayers, but rarely feel motivated to come off of the cash for complete strangers. This, my friend, is one of those rare occasions. I can't wait to witness the journey.
Also blogged http://www.whatsthislifefor.org/2008/11/19/helpin...I'll pimp ya all day
.
Definitely have my prayers. I'll shoot some money by on payday you gots teh paypals? embed a donate button already!!!
thanks for your support bro! thanks for taking a chance too, craziness.
thanks girl! the prayer will be awesome.
thanks jaysten. we still need to hook up and talk it out.
thanks for walking with me on this one PT. hopefully it can encourage others…!
haha, excellent. the .org domain name says it all, right?
…
oh yeah, yo ugot it.
of course, i know you are. feels great to have made friends with you.
wow! i'm checking out your blog right now! how old is she?
thanks ron, rock it solid.!
it's a different side of me perhaps… or not? most people know the "tech" side, but there's always more, right?
wow, what an honor to have THE cynthia ware post a comment…! thanks for the support!
haha. love it. LOVE IT. i was just asking for sacrifice on the caffeine… but that'll do!
most excellent. most definitely. thanks sully.
if i can get myself together, you guys will read about it…!
Absolutely!!
just noticed donation widget
Hey man, I will pray for you.
Wow man. Powerful story. It was hard for me not to embarrass myself in Qdoba crying on my laptop.
the hs is something crazy… ;0
at least it's some decent food… you could have been like “I was crying because i haven't had food in like 4 hours…!”
… hehe.
I'd love to help! Thanks for asking.
wow. You will be in our prayers. My brother is adopted from Korea. From a sibling's point of view, I can see the value in this trip for you and your brother! Be blessed and enjoy the opportunity!
am i crazy or did i miss how to donate some $?
details .. i need details… this is awesome! i definitely want to help.
Hey John, I came across your blog through Ragamuffin Soul's blog. I'm a Korean-American, born and raised in the States, so looking at your childhood pictures and the picture of your birth mother are familiar to me (I recognize a Korean face, na mean??). I just wanted to say that I think it's awesome that you will be meeting your birth mother and taking this step of faith to do so. God is a God of restoration and reconciliation so I pray that you and your brother would experience this through your trip. Blessings!
Oh! And remember to eat some good Korean food, man. Korean BBQ rocks.
just kidding. im blind. found it
An amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. As the adoptive mom of two amazing little ones, I pray that I can shepherd them as your parents guided you. You are in my prayers.
epic
Congrats my friend…. Thanks so much for giving us the opportunity to help you and share this grand adventure! God is Good and so amazing! You are in my prayers! (Shockleysgirl < Twitter)
Hey man – just saw your tweet and read this post. Wow. I had no idea all this was in motion for you. I will definitely be praying for you and support you on this journey. God speed brother. May God use this to draw you closer to him and bring more glory to his name.
Dude, I'm in. You got the prayers of my family and we'll pull something together for the donate button.
Dude, I'm in. You got the prayers of my family and we'll pull something together for the donate button. (Hit the daggum return key too soon)
hey. found your post…we're adopting from ethiopia and as a social worker, I've helped facilitate birth family reunions.. i'm happy to help…wish i could donate more. have a WONDERFUL trip. ad remember…just breathe!
Hey John. I don't know you or Carlos but was on ragamuffin soul and viewed your posted video. I'm not adopted by know some folks who are and the ups and downs they have dealing with not knowing their birth parents. So, for them and you, though I'm a broke seminary student, I'll def. chip in from my pocket and with prayers. I found some money on the ground in a parking lot earlier this week (a nice little amount too!) but could not find who it belonged to so, I'd be glad to pass it to you and your brother. I look forward to seeing videos about the trip a few weeks from now…PEACE!!!
John, My wife and I adopted a wonderful baby boy from South Korea 4 years ago. I worry the most about his feelings of being unwanted in the beginning, sort of like you have written about. I was wondering if you could email me or post about what I, as an adopting parent, can do to help with these feelings. Me and my wife were married 10 years and found out we couldn't have kids. We both loved kids so much that adoption was a fact for us. Now, I can't imagine life without Lincoln. It is hard for me to even remember before him, he means so much to us! Like I said before, I just worry about how he is going to feel later in life. Right now all he cares about is Wii, but I know the time will come when he starts to notice he doesn't look like us. Matter of Fact he is starting to ask those questions now. I would really like to hear from someone that has been through it. I am the Assistant Pastor of The Vertical Church in Yuma, AZ. you can email me anytime at danny@theverticalchurch.com. I will be praying for you and your trip, and can't wait to hear how it goes.
ditto.
thanks again. sweet.