I’m a Better Web Developer Than Husband
It’s been painfully obvious to me that I’m a far better web guy than husband.
Doh.
But that makes sense, right? Being married 3.5 years compared to 20 years of web stuff proves the point. It really is like learning a new “language.”
Something that I’ve been thinking about is how to apply (loosely, of course) some of the “gifting” I have in web to my marriage. That may sound a bit odd, but I’m willing to try new things, and sometimes strategies that work in one setting actually work in others as well.
It’s not like my wife is a “project” or anything like that. I’m just trying to look at it all differently.
Does that even make any sense? Have you ever applied something outside the marriage context and seen in work inside?
Hmm…
[Image from Susan and her 5 D]
Yes, but I find myself more often applying what I understand about marriage to other things. Maybe it is because I don't have a great skill like web development. But loving my wife like Christ loved the church is a model I am always striving for. (Are you doing the married life live date this weekend?)
Great thought? Or is it more a question?
I've been thinking along these lines lately too, just not web based, but business. I'm willing to go hang myself out there for clients or other jobs, but what or how am I letting that flow into my family life.
Thanks for the challenge, I'm going to think about this today and maybe post some more thoughts later. Thanks!
very thought provoking. I think anything that we can do to better our marriages is so worth it! Im sure your spouse would agree, keep us posted on any "revelations" you may learn as a result of this.
marriage is dsl….always on….always connected……(at the expence of dating myself)….it's not dial up. there's an anology for you!
It makes perfect sense. The project is you, Husband 1.0. Your wife was first attracted to your 1.0 feature-set. She got by with them at the time, but they've become a bit long-in-the-tooth lately. She's become more and more frustrated that the promised 2.0 features have been delayed and deployment is behind schedule. And who can blame her? First of all 2.0 is going to rock. Second of all, it is important to get these new feature done right, and that takes time.
As a husband, though, I can relate to the fact that I often feel under appreciated for the 1.1 upgrades, service packs (SP3), and hot-fixes I have applied to myself over the years as I steadily work on version 2.0 of myself. That's a real drag. Also, can you really be held accountable for the fact that so many 1.0 features are not compatible with parenthood?? I mean, Husband 1.0 was never even tested for that user base. No wonder it doesn't behave predictably.
In the meantime, just remind her that the wait will have been worth it. *If* you can actually deliver.
peace|dewde
Ok, totally blogged that bit. Thx John!
http://dewde.com/2009/03/am-i-a-husband-or-a-proj...
peace|dewde
I try to live by the following: Christ, wife, life. Not sure I would want to try to have a relationship with my bride that was web based, either in theory or practice!
But as you and she are one flesh and that is how you relate to yourself…wekk, I hope and pray she is an understanding woman and wiser than you. I know my wife is (wiser than me that is, but probably you as well. As your wife is over me).
Take her to FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember! (Get a discount – use our group – "lovelife")
http://www.familylife.com/groups/lovelife
1. There's no better investment you can make in your marriage.
2. You'll both see God's plan for marriage laid out clearly.
3. You'll get proven tools and perspectives.
4. You'll both be working off the same page – (otherwise it may look like a project).
I've developed software for 25 years (been married almost as long). Rather than writing code from scratch, or relying on my own intuitions to produce, I learn what I can from others then customize it to meet my needs. Just makes sense.
BTW – Weekend to Remember is the WordPress of marriage conferences! heh
{/commercial}
It makes perfect sense. The project is you, Husband 1.0. Your wife was first attracted to your 1.0 feature-set. She got by with them at the time, but they've become a bit long-in-the-tooth lately. She's become more and more frustrated that the promised 2.0 features have been delayed and deployment is behind schedule. And who can blame her? First of all 2.0 is going to rock. Second of all, usability requirements and standards have changed since then. Even so, it is important to keep in mind that these new features need to be done right, and that takes time.
As a husband, though, I can relate to the fact that I often feel under appreciated for the 1.1 upgrades, service packs (SP3), and hot-fixes I have applied to myself over the years as I steadily work on version 2.0 of myself. That's a real drag. Also, can you really be held accountable for the fact that so many 1.0 features are not compatible with parenthood?? I mean, Husband 1.0 was never even tested for that user base. No wonder it doesn't behave predictably.
In the meantime, just remind her that the wait will have been worth it. *If* you can actually deliver.
peace|dewde
Awesome comment!
I try to live by the following: Christ, wife, life. Not sure I would want to try to have a relationship with my bride that was web based, either in theory or practice!
But as you and she are one flesh and that is how you relate to yourself…well, I hope and pray she is an understanding woman and wiser than you. I know my wife is (wiser than me that is, but probably you as well. As your wife is over me).
Marriage is all about Teamwork…I can't tell you how much that resonates with me. Some of the best "marriage " helps have come from teamwork books like the 7 Dysfunctions of a Team and Personality Plus!, that I've read. If you're having a tough time with the sappy marriage reading, I always recommend picking up one of those to supplement it.
oh yes it makes sense. We are doing iMarriage at Community Group at the mo and I just know that I am too busy on the computer to pay attention to my wife and her desires. Hmmm, I seem to be a better church volunteer than a husband.
the same principles should apply all over the place.but if i'm sitting her on the leather sofa in the basement more than I'm sitting next to her, i'm blowing chunks.and i've found that my wife wants to know who all these people are.i've given her a framed picture of human3rror to put in the picture hallway.
Yes, I am doing the great date experiment…!
I honestly think that all of us are better [insert something here] than we are spouses. Don't beat yourself up. But I want to hear more about this great date experiment!
haha. that was a while ago…! but, you're right.