Reality. Ugh.

I think one of the most depressing spots that I get myself into is where I begin to imagine (unreasonably) what things should be, and then getting there and realizing that they are nothing like what I had originally crafted in my mind’s eye.

“Fatherhood is going to be so friggin’ awesome!” I’d shout when Sue was pregnant. Well guess what, it is pretty awesome but not how I’d imagine it to be “awesome.” And there’s so much that’s not “awesome” about it too. I mean, let’s be honest. It’s tough.

I think I BS my way into these false pictures of reality to either satisfy my weak mind or to somehow meekly boast to others about something I have really no idea about. Ultimately, it’s a pretty lame attempt to “control” what is pretty much uncontrollable.

I’m tired of the games, the dashed hopes with lightly-salted dreams on bitter-sweet bite-sized tidbits of reality. I want the real thing; I want it now.

Surprise me God, annihilate my expectations, and bring me closer to the “real” than ever before. Ground me (literally) but keep my hopes in eternity unfettered.

Help me die so that I can live for much more than a pretty sad attempt at the American Dream.

[Image from JPG Mag *Thx Haemin!*]